**Pursuit Of Love**

At first glance of the image above everything that a woman doesn’t want me to brag about, I am pretty good at!

• Fantasy Football…. Check! (#10)
• Drinking Skills…. Check! (#9)
• Sexual Prowess… Check!  (Just kidding) (#7)

1. Kitchen Skills

I obviously have to get a little better in the kitchen! Shoot! I don’t really mind cooking at all, but cooking for myself is not only annoying it really isn’t a cost benefit for me and is it really even healthier. I feel like I mastered the healthy fast food restaurant menu. Just to name a few…

Chipotle: Bowl and no rice

In and Out: Protein Style

Habit Grill: Hamburger, no bun

2. Family Bonds

Now this is probably the only one I think I have a solid foundation. I spend a lot of time with my family and have a good bond with them. I guess I should just talk about them for awhile next time on a date.

3. Academics

Now I don’t quite understand why this is one is higher rated than Career Victories? I went to Arizona State University which they are known for their partying. Telling people I went to ASU won’t really do it for me, especially since I haven’t gone into any graduate programs. I might leave this off the table conversation.

4. Weekend Adventures

I sure can talk about my weekend adventures but are they really wanting to hear about all the shenanigans I had last weekend?? I can’t really see a woman wanting to know that I got completely drunk and blacked out! haha Kidding kind of… Maybe this is more like, I flew in my private jet for a weekend getaway to Napa Valley?! Definitely didn’t happen. Or this could be about the woman wanting to know you are not a boring home body. I guess I am a little confused on exactly what a woman is looking for here.

5. Career Victories

I can definitely talk about what I do, that I started my own company but I almost feel like that is pretty boring to them, especially the company I started (document scanning company). This one is always brought up “so what do you do” and I am still trying to figure out exactly what I should say on this one.

6. Athletic Fitness

I have gotten more healthy the past year, my diet has changed the most. I do sometimes throw in what my diet has been over the past year and usually this goes no where. The woman is usually set on what they eat and then it becomes a touchy subject because then you are talking basically about their weight. Maybe not specifically but its being thought about. I can just see them thinking…

• Does he think I am over weight?
• Is he judging what I eat tonight?
• Does he think he is better than me?

So I just basically touch on this subject and leave it immediately unless I can tell that they enjoy the conversation.

Is this what women really want to hear? If not what is it that women want to hear men brag about or talk about during the date? It always makes me wonder what is it exactly a woman looks for during the date.

 **Pursuit Of Love**

I have had many conversations about engagement rings from my parents to friends and even a girlfriend or two. Well me and my last ex we could not be further apart from what our beliefs were. And do you know how it is a worse investment than a car? It is when she doesn’t return the ring to you when you have a 50% chance of divorce. ( I know I am a little pessimistic about this whole ring thing)

The Best Marketing Campaign Ever

How much should the guy spend on the ring?? It obviously depends on how much you make. For the average male especially if we are only in our 20′s we are not usually making 6 figures. So what is the reasonable price for the average male to spend?? Everyone has heard the 3 month salary equation, especially me. Probably heard it from my ex at least 10 times when we were together. I have no idea where the heck the “3 months worth of salary” came from… Maybe from a jewelry company? (Quick tangent on this, after I wrote that last sentence I was actually curious to see where that originated. On the wikipedia page for engagement rings, it states that De Beers came up with the saying to increase sales, yes it is wikipedia but it does make sense.) If this is true, I need to find that marketing director from De Beers and hire him!!

$10,000?!?!

Back to my ex, she was so focused on getting a $10,000 ring that she told me ” I am not settling for anything less than that”. Well first off I could not disagree anymore with her, and just the thought of spending $10,000 on a little ring that has NO barring on the marriage drives me a little crazy. I have never once heard a divorce couple say the reason they split was the ring was not big enough. How about spending $5000 and putting that other $5000 towards your kids college fund,  towards a down payment for a house, or even best yet, since everyone has credit card debt, pay down one of your credit cards. I feel like it just makes WAY too much sense to do something like this that is the reason no one does it!

My Plan

My plan is getting a ring I can afford at the time, if the ring is that important to her obviously I am not with the right person. I plan on building to the ring, if, I mean when we make it 5 years, add to it a little, 10 years, 15 and so on. Does it not make sense to keep adding to it the longer the marriage lasts?

All I do know is that I better get married fast because De Beers will change the 3 months salary to 6 months salary!

Also read the  history of the engagement ring….. The article is a little biased but still some great information!

You are walking into a trap! DON'T DO IT

You know in those movies when there is an army unit walking through a jungle and all of sudden they slam down 10 feet into a trap their enemy laid out for them? They know there is probably a trap somewhere but you just don’t exactly know when it is coming. Well women lay these same traps out for men, so lets take a look at them and please if anyone wants to give me advice on these please do so!

I Swear Nothing Is Wrong…

This one use to drive me absolutely insane until I realized I am just going to take their word for it and won’t worry about it. If they are mad they will come up to me when they are ready to rumble. With that being said nothing drives me more insane when I do this and ignore them and they are ready to talk and they are mad at me because I didn’t care enough! Yes this has happened and has happened multiple times. No win situation here! So what in the world should I do??

Oh No Go With Your Friends…

Here is another no win situation, so I go with my friends and I am miserable because I can’t stand knowing I am going to get reamed when I get home. Or I stay home with her, ditch my friends, but she is still mad just at the thought of you considering going out with your friends. So now I am miserable at home with my girlfriend. This doesn’t happen all the time and usually something comes up last minute with my friends. I am curious how I am suppose to work this one out.

It Is Totally Fine You Like Sports…

My favorite part about this one is I have probably heard from all my girlfriends this same thing “oh I like sports too”. Not quite like guys like sports, well not quite like how I like sports. I will admit I might have a little obsession with watching sports, and yes I know I am going to have to dial it down a notch or two. But I fall for it every time when my girlfriend tells me it is okay to watch sports. Then 3 months down the road I all of a sudden have a total ‘problem’ and need to stop watching as much. (Side note for women, October is one of the best months of sports of the year. There is NFL, College Football and the Baseball Playoffs… Just a heads up)

This last one is not necessary a statement but more of when she complains about her day or a person or something happening in her life. A man is a problem solver, we solve problems ladies! So our first instinct is to SHUT YOU UP! Totally kidding, but we want to help, we want to help solve that problem you are having. I am slowly realizing you women don’t want the help, you literally could care less about our advice. So what I am asking is what in the world do we do? Smile and nod? Act like we are listening? I would love to hear what to do on this one.

Do guys do this? Would love to hear those as well!

To answer that question, I think I found out the hard way….

You Think Denver Has Cold Winters, Try Antarctica

About 6 months ago I tried going into the online dating world, I heard some good things about it and even one of my own family members had great success with it(she got married)! I thought to myself, I am a decent looking guy, I am active, how hard could this be. Well it was a lot harder than I thought!

I did my research and found match.com, which seemed reasonably priced, real people were on it and I heard good recommendations from it.

Now first off I have nothing against people that do the online dating thing, nothing against it, for myself though I never thought I would have to do this and I was a little apprehensive about it but I was in a cold streak that you could only compare to the winters of Antarctica, real real cold! So I signed up, filled my profile out, and put my picture up. Now if you have never done online dating the picture is kind of like the last step, you are in it, people are going to see it and there is no turning back, I am officially a LOSER! I am semi kidding about that part, like I said I know tons of people that have done it and they are NOT losers!

It Can’t Be That Hard

I am all set up on now, have my profile, have the picture up and now it is time to search! This was actually one of best parts of the whole experience, endless women that are looking for a man that live in your area! I guess there are a lot of losers… kidding again! I was absolutely surprised on how many good looking women were on this site, it was pretty amazing, so I just had a field day. I would look at their profile, mention something about that in a message I would send to them. I thought okay, I would send something a little more personal to them because I am assuming there are just TONS of dudes on this site. The first week goes by nothing back, now I probably sent about 15 messages. Well I guess I have to write better messages, I slowly experimented with the messages I sent, changed the wording in my profile and put some more pictures up.

In the next 3 to 4 weeks I must have sent at least 50 to 100 messages, I got a total of 4 messages! Two of those messages were from people I didn’t send anything to and to be kind weren’t what I was looking for, the other 2 messages were replys back! Both of those were messages telling me I probably was not a good fit for them!!! Are you kidding me?!?! I just got rejected twice on match.com! Now that is a super LOSER!

What I Would Like To Think

I believe I am a decent looking guy, active, and I am pretty smart. Thinking about this, my opinion of how I got to be a super loser is because there are probably an unlimited amount of dudes on this site, I would love to know what the guy vs. girl ratio is on this. The next thing is pictures are key on this site, I personally don’t think I am a great picture taker on top of that, I am not shredded with muscle, don’t have a six pack and I have skinny arms. This pretty much put me down in the bottom of the barrel.

I can tell you one thing, I will probably never do online dating again, it was a total disaster, embarrassing, and I was still stuck in the winter of Antarctica! Back to the bar scene….

Stay tuned next Thursday!

Pursuit Of Love Series

Most Awkward Date Ever

The Pursuit Of Love

The Cougar

Before dating “Erica” or what I would like to say before exclusively dating (this has a whole story for another time) her I met this “cougar” a 39 year old woman in Las Vegas. How old was I you might be asking… 22 years old. Yep a little weird but she was awesome to be around and to be quite honest one of the most interesting woman I have ever met. This is the reason I have such an attraction towards older woman, they really do a number with me with their conversation. It is BY FAR better than a younger woman’s conversation even though for example I have a 9am class and will be watching the d-backs game later, she has a 9am meeting with a client and conference calls the rest of the day( a little different in lifestyles). Back to the cougar who I will call Philly.

Like I said we met in Vegas and it didn’t really escalate into anything there, but there was definitely an attraction on both ends. Well we both went back to our home states, her being on the east coast and me being in Arizona. About 2 weeks later she all of sudden had a meeting with some friends in Arizona! I am pretty sure now looking back that was to see me, which at the time I didn’t have a clue!

The Most Awkward Moment In My Life!

She came out to Arizona and the first night we hung out and it was a great time, we a lot of fun and that attraction was still obviously there. We went our separate ways that night but we talked about going out the following night. She calls me that 2nd night and casually says we are going to dinner with some of her friends and she mentions we are meeting at the Phoenician which is a high end hotel in Phoenix. I didn’t really think about it too much, I already met some of her friends from Arizona before.

I was meeting her and her “friends” at one of the restaurants at the hotel. I am going up the elevator to the restaurant and I start realizing, who am I exactly meeting her with??? Well I arrive and I see her and her “friends” which I realize right there it is a DOUBLE DATE, which that is fine. I get a little closer and realize these other people I am sitting here with are at least in their 60′s! THEIR SIXTIES!!!!! At this table there is a 22 year old, 39 year old, and two 60 year olds! You want to talk about weird moments in life, to this day I will not forget that moment. For the next FIVE hours the 4 of us had just a great time (sarcasm). I could not imagine how weird it must of been for them but I just started drinking and the nerves calmed a bit, I mean I did have a lot in common with the 60 year olds kids (and yes their kids were older than me)!

Talk about a night!

Stay tuned next Friday!

Pursuit Of Love Series

Am I That Unattractive

The Pursuit Of Love

She is a total escape artist when it comes to wearing clothes.  At first it started with shoes and socks in the car.  Then she moved up to pulling off her pants and walking around in just her diaper and shirt.  Then she figured out how to remove the shirt too.  And lastly, there was the diaper.  Obviously, we try to prevent the diaper removal as much as possible, for obvious reasons. EEEW!

Her latest thing is pajamas.  She loves to be naked and I guess that in the mornings she was just a little too bored waiting for me to come and get her up.   At first it started with the zipper on her long-sleeve, footie pajamas.  Next she started to undo the zipper to her ankle and remove her diaper inside her pajamas.  Quite talented.  And then it really ramped up. …full removal of pajamas.  Stark naked and SO proud of herself when I would walk in to her room.

Until Monday.  As I opened the door, the smell hit me first.  I took one look at her in her crib and yelled for my husband.  She had once again removed her diaper but this time it wasn’t quite so neat.  There were….it has to be said….poop pellets, all over her crib and herself.   GROSS!!!!!!!!!  Just what I wanted to wake up to.  It was in her crib, under her fingernails, on the bottom of her feet, all over her special blankie, everywhere.   We cleaned her up, threw everything in the washing machine and sent her on her merry way.  Until the next time…..

I hope your mess will be as easy to clean up as mine will.   As parents, we all have one of these episodes at one time or another!  Good luck with your little escape artist.

However, if you’re a celebrity (or have aspirations of becoming one someday) you may go a different route. It seems that, ahem, “unique” names are all the rage in Hollywood today. Whether the inspiration comes from the ingredients of a bottle of body spray (i.e. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates’ daughter, Peaches Honeyblossom) or a music production brochure (Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton) the possibilities appear to be endless. In fact, this list had to be edited several times to keep it at a readable length.

Alas, without further ado I give you my take on the most “different” celebrity names.

Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa

The youngest of Frank Zappa’s four children (Siblings: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan), Diva Thin Muffin, is a celebrity in her own right. She has acted in various movies and television shows. Still, her name brings to mind a high-maintenance, low-cal pastry or maybe a skinny muffin that can hit high notes.

Kal-El Cage

At first glance, Nicholas Cage’s son’s name doesn’t seem too bad. Sure, it’s unique, but it kind of has a nice ring to it. Further inspection reveals, however, that Nick Cage stole the name from a famous superhero. Can you guess which one? Kal-El was the birth name of Superman a.k.a. Clark Kent. Maybe the reason Superman spent so much time in the phone booth was to see if anyone else actually shared his Kryptonian name.

Born Nicholas Coppola, (yes, as in Francis Ford Coppola) the actor changed his last name to avoid criticism that his career was based on paternalism. “Cage” comes from another comic book hero, Luke Cage.

Sage Moonblood Stallone

I know movies are supposed to be fake, but maybe old Sly accidentally got a few screws knocked loose during the filming of the Rocky Quintilogy (Yes, I made that word up). Don’t get me wrong, I think that Sage is a nice name. It has a certain ring to it and I’m digging the alliteration, but there is something a little off about the Moonblood part. That, coupled with the fact that Sylvester’s three daughters are named Sistine Rose, Scarlett Rose, and Sophia Rose Stallone makes me wonder a little. I guess first names come easy to the Rambo star. It’s the middle names that are the hard part.

Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette

My spell check is beginning to hate me right now. Yes, Mr. Paperclip, I’m sure I meant “Moxie CrimeFighter”!

Anyway, the more vocal half of the comedy/magic duo, Penn and Teller, Penn Jillette, decided for something a little, we’ll call it, “unconventional” when deciding on a name for his daughter. Who knows, maybe Moxie and Kal-El Cage can get together and form some sort of crime fighting, superhero club (Eh, probably just wishful thinking).

When Penn isn’t busy naming little girls strange things, he can be found doing the same for little boys (enter Zolten Penn Jillette, Moxie’s older brother).

In related news, there is a rumor circulating that Teller is considering naming his next child “ “.

Pilot Inspektor Lee

Where to begin, where to begin? Jason Lee, star of “My Name Is Earl”, seems to have an affinity for both aviation and misspelling. This one leaves me scratching my head a little bit. Is it supposed to be a pilot that inspects- err, excuse me- inspekts things or someone who inspekts pilots? Either way, I’m not getting anywhere near that plane!

All Four of Paula Yates’ Daughters

Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie, and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Not to be confused with Roger Taylor and Deborah Leng’s daughter who’s just plain Tiger Lily). Need I say more? Who am I kidding? I can’t help myself.

Is it just me, or does anyone else get the feeling that Paula Yates’ naming technique involved a dog show held at a Bath and Body Works store? I know that sounds mean, and I’m sure all of her daughters are beautiful, remarkable young women, but somehow I feel like Mrs. Yates didn’t get the memo that states that names tend to stay with you for a VERY LONG time. Like, until you are old enough to go to school with other kids long or when you have to start applying for jobs long.

The thing I can’t get out of my head is that moment when you first introduce your child’s name to family and friends. You know there is at least some level of apprehension, hoping that they will like the name you’ve chosen. Picture being in the family/friend position and someone says to you, “These are my daughters, Fifi Trixibelle…”. If anyone has a good way to respond to that, please let me know. It might come in handy someday.

Prince Michael II a.k.a. Blanket Jackson

I suppose it’s only befitting that the kind of pop would name his son Prince Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. But twice?! I feel like it says a lot about a parent when they have to recycle “Prince [Insert Parent Name Here]”. I guess it’s good that he wasn’t showing favoritism and didn’t go with Earl or Duke Michael. Still, I think the numbering system is a little off-putting. How would you like to be “[Your Name]” II? Perhaps even stranger, Prince Michael II is referred to as “Blanket”. Now I’m not an expert on royal lineage, but I can’t help but think that Blanket is a few notches down from Prince.

The icing on the cake- the late king of pop’s daughter’s name is Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson. It turns out this is a great way to help identify your kids. Just name them all after you and become an infamous pop culture icon. Oh, that’s actually a good segway into the next item on my list…

George Foreman’s George Foremans

What, you ask, does this mean? Oh, don’t you worry, I’ll tell you! George Foreman, famous for being both a boxing and indoor grilling legend, has ten kids- five boys and five girls. If you think naming one child is hard, imagine ten! Well, it turns out it’s not so bad. Just ask Mr. Foreman who named all five of his sons George Foreman. There’s George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, and George VI. If that isn’t confusing (or narcissistic) enough he also named two of his daughters Freeda George, and Georgetta.

I grew up with the same first name as my dad and there were definitely times when that would be the cause of confusion. For example, if someone called the house it was often asked which “Edward” they wished to speak to. But how exactly does that work in the Foreman household? All I can say is thank goodness for cell phones! That, or they better have their own lines.

Honorable Mentions:

Rufus Tiger (son), Tiger Lily (daughter), Lola Daisy (daughter)

Parents: Roger Taylor and Deborah Leng

Rocket Valentin (son), Racer Maximilliano (son), Rebel Antonio (son), Rogue (son), Rhiannon (daughter)

Parents: Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellan

Poppy Honey (daughter), Daisy Boo (daughter)

Parents: Jamie Oliver and Jools Oliver

Tu Simone Ayer (daughter)

Parents: Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayer (as in Tu Morrow)

Hud (son), Spec Wildhorse (son)

Parents: John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin

Banjo Patrick (son)

Parents: Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor

Jermajesty (son)

Parent: Jermaine Jackson

Satchel

Parents: Mia Farrow & Woody Allen

http://www.flickr.com/photos/photoann/

I awoke on the morning of Feb. 24th experiencing a familiar sensation…”Braxton Hicks” contractions (false labor contractions).  These contractions were occasionally mildly painful although usually more annoying than anything.  I had been having these contractions since I began the third trimester and was fully aware that they pretty much meant, well….nothing.  I can honestly say that the past few weeks had been filled with many false alarms so I was not about to panic about them this time.

Anthony and I had been planning a quick trip to Phoenix for the weekend to do dinner with the family and visit with some friends.  Our plans had not swayed with the onset of these “Braxton Hicks” contractions.  “We’re fine…”  I told him when he questioned the idea of making the hour and a half drive.  “I am not due for 9 more days and the doctor did not say not to travel.”  I reassured him.  So we packed our things and headed out of town.

About half way into the drive the traffic began slowing as we realized that our hour and a half drive was about to be elongated by an accident a few miles ahead.  At this time the false labor contractions had subsided and I was sitting comfortably in the passenger seat with my feet on the dashboard.  The only minor discomfort I was experiencing, as most pregnant women would agree, would be the constant urge to pee.

We progressed slowly down the freeway which was saturated with cars at a speed similar to my very pregnant slow walk.  Anthony and I were filled with a mild frustration, which was also slowly progressing.  After a few minutes we realized that the cars were no longer moving.  “Must have been a big accident…I think they have closed the freeway.”  Anthony suggested, as I remembered that I had to pee and if I didn’t go soon there would be a different kind of ”big accident” occurring.

A half an hour crept by as we sat completely stopped.  My urge to pee became stronger as I finally told Anthony that I had to go and I had to go now.  “My husband is a genius,” I thought as he developed a flawless strategy for me to pee.  “The diaper bag,” was all he said as he looked at me and chuckled.  “C’mon, it would be funny!”  Although embarrassed I happened to agree.  I decided that desperate times called for desperate measures as I grabbed two diapers and strategically placed them under my behind, with my pants down to my knees and a small blanket to cover the tops of my legs.  I began laughing as I felt some instant relief and emptied my bladder onto the diapers that were not intended for “my” use.

A feeling of horror and embarrassment swept over me as I noticed the man in the vehicle in front of us had stepped out of his car and was heading towards our car.  I looked at Anthony as we both laughed as we realized that the guy was at the driver’s side window knocking at the glass.  My pants were at my knees and I had a mere baby blanket barely covering the tops of my legs.  “You have to get rid of him!”  I begged Anthony as he rolled down the window.  Anthony chatted with the man for a few seconds as I began to laugh uncontrollably.  The guy gave me a strange look and continued to chat with Anthony about something irrelevant.  My laughter was at a point of hysteria as Anthony also tried to fight the urge to laugh and continued to hold a conversation with the gentleman.  Tears poured out of my eyes as I felt something cool between my legs.  A gush…then I felt it again as if a water balloon had popped between my legs…gush…then again…..gush.  It felt as though pitcher of fluid came out and…gush there was more.  My laughter had continued as I realized that my water had just broken and Anthony was still talking to the man and the man just wouldn’t leave!  Then, gush, more fluid as the man started to wander back to his car…Anthony’s eyes were filled with tears as he laughed as the guy walked away.

I explained to Anthony that my water had broken and the mood went from a laughing frenzy to a panic frenzy.  We were stopped in traffic in the middle of nowhere!!  Anthony called an ambulance and several minutes later they were there and traffic was beginning to move again.  We decided that since I was not having contractions and that traffic was moving we would attempt to drive ourselves to the hospital.  The paramedic on scene knew Anthony and suggested to follow us until traffic cleared so that if we had gotten stopped again they would be right behind us to help.  The plan was flawless and traffic cleared perfectly as Anthony and I drove into town.

I was still pain free as we decided we had enough time to make it to Banner Desert.  My step dad is an OBGYN and at the time was chairman of the OB department at Banner Desert and had a bed ready for me there.  We arrived to the hospital and I was put in the “Princess Suite” for VIP treatment as the nurses told me.  I was embarrassed as I did not want any special attention.  The nurses insisted and I did not argue as I was grateful to be in good care.

I was not in labor yet, the doctor informed me although I would need to be induced.  Fourteen hours later I was holding a slimy, wiggly, adorable, little baby.  She was 6 lbs 9 oz, when she was born at 7:30 am on Feb. 25th 2007.  My little miracle decided to join us a little early, but came with a funny story and an experience of a life time.  She is perfect.  She looks just like her daddy, but with a full head of chestnut brown hair…Sorry Anthony (my baldy).

-Amy

Another humorous story from Amy… Poop Landing In Her Eye???   YES

All the people who meet her tell me how she is such a quiet baby. They tell me how lucky I am because I have such a quiet baby. I am not sure if they are lying to me, or if babies really do cry much more than she does. If so it is a wonder that people have more than one.

Tonight has been especially difficult. Anthony is at work. He works for three days in a row and sleeps at the station, and then has six days off. This evening is the third without him.  “Lucky bastard,” I think to myself. Tonight I am ready to pull my hair out.

Tears roll down her cheeks. I can see all the way down the back of her throat as her tiny tongue quivers with her squeak-like screams. Her arms flail at her sides with clenched fists. “How did she get her arms out?” I ask. I swaddled her like Chipotle burrito last time. The clock on the night stand reads 3:30 am. This is our third time awake tonight.

“Are you hungry honey?” I ask her in a soft gentle voice. The answer I receive is more squeals followed by a few squeaks. “Whoa!” I exclaim as I peal the side of her diaper and find the present left for me. I’m not sure that adults can poop this much.

I lay her next to me on the bed and proceed with changing her diaper. This action does not make her very happy, but it has to be done. “It would have been nice to have had gloves for this.” I think to myself as I notice that I have baby poo on my hands. I blow the hair out of my face and rub my nose with my forearm and proceed to wipe her bottom clean with one hand holding her feet. I grabbed the new diaper and as I lifted her hips off the bed. “Squirt.” All I see is greenish brown fluid traveling quickly at my face. I am unable to dodge fast enough as some of it lands on my cheek and my shirt. It has also sprayed all over the white sheets on my bed and the wall behind me.

Crying with feces on your face really sucks. But the wall of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. The lack of sleep, the hormones, the poop on my face, and the still unhappy baby was about all I could take.

Present day

I reflect on that night and many others as we contemplate bringing another child into the world. I think we are going to adopt.

A letter to my daughter

Rhyan Isabella,

Your beautiful smile full of missing teeth brings a joy unattainable by any other means. You have truly enlightened me. I understand unconditional love and what it takes to be a parent. I am a better woman because of you. Thank you for humbling me and teaching me so much.

I hope that one day you will read this and learn from what I have learned and try to use good judgment. Crying with poop on my face was what it took to break me from the selfishness within myself. I have never resented you. I only may have wished to have been better prepared.

But then again, I wouldn’t have this story or many others like it if I were. Like the first words I had ever spoken to you, I still “promise to always love you, be there for you, and take care of you”.

Mommy

Amy, Daughter of Beth

Do you have any horror stories like this, I would love to hear them!  Make a comment below.

Week 33
By Jennifer
BabyBlogAddict.com

Yes, that’s an MC Hammer “Can’t Touch This” t-shirt. My son took this picture of me or should I say, my belly, the other day.

I bought the shirt from discobelly on etsy. I have to admit that it took longer than it was supposed to to get it, but I finally got it.

I’m starting to think that this shot was calling for a buddha belly shirt like this one from Jellybean Apparel instead